Who Are You Really Fighting

I am an avid reader.  I love books, and when I read, I like most people find ways of identifying with the protagonist as much as I can.  Every now and then I find a book series that hits me so hard in the gut.  Not because the main story line applies to my actual life, but because certain quotes from the book jump out at me as though it was put there specifically for me.  Obviously this is not the case, but you readers out there know what I am talking about.  For several years now I have been enjoying the Fever Series by Karen Marie Moning  My favorite quote from this series has always hit close to home with me

“Most people are good and occasionally do something they know is bad. Some people are bad and struggle every day to keep it under control. Others are corrupt to the core and don’t give a damn, as long as they don’t get caught. But evil is a completely different creature, Mac. Evil is bad that believes it’s good.”

When this quote first came into my life I associated it with so many people who have hurt me in the name of my best interest, or the best interest of others or so they felt at the time.  I held so tight to this quote as feeling like a life line helping me feel like at least I am not like this….

Then I realized….I am….

That is when I had to ask myself.  Who am I really fighting?  Am I fighting the people who have hurt me?  Am I fighting some unknown evil force that keeps me locked down, and makes me feel like I cant move forward?

No…Its been me all along…

No this doesnt mean I am evil, but at times I do things that I think are in mine, or my childrens best interest, but know that I could be making a big mistake, but I convince myself its for “The Greater Good”.  Thinking about this quote was a true epiphany for me.  I realized I am my own worst enemy.  I am fighting against myself.

When you realize you are fighting yourself what do you do?  Do you ride the wave, and hope you come out breathing on the other end?  Do you fight against the current, and risk hurting yourself worse?  Well the smart thing would be to just get out of the water and realize you were never that far from the shore to begin with, and accept the help thats out there.  Also accepting your flaws, and realizing you cant do everything on your own is how you stop the fight, or at least regain control of it.

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